Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Orna Mental

I've kind of not felt like myself for a long time.  I'm not really sure what "feeling like myself" means, but I do know that I'm just kind of off kilter.

I used to be very creative, but the past few years I haven't been able think creatively.  Getting back into playing RPGs has helped a bit, but I'm still not exactly back to where I used to be.  I'm planning on running a game soon.  Ideas are flowing here and there, but when I sit here to write them out, they just don't seem to be able to move from my brain to my fingers.

At work, there is a health program that offers free blood work annually.  I do this most years depending on where I feel I stand weight-wise.  This year, they are also offering a free mental health evaluation.  Not figuring anything I was feeling was out of the ordinary, I filled out the survey.  Now, for good or for ill, I have a telephone counseling appointment in a couple of weeks.

Is this something that's going to help or hinder my lack of creativity and focus or is it just going to prove that I just need to hike up my pants and act like a real adult for once?

I've never been a big proponent of medicating whether it's prescriptions or something else.  Life is what you make it and there's no reason not to make the best of it.  The FNP(PA?  I'm not really sure what she is now that I think of it...) has always asked after my frame of mind.  If I really felt like a pharmaceutical would help, she would be happy to prescribe.

My wife has said I have only two moods:  red faced, screaming angry or neutral, blah, okay.  No happy, no sad, just Incredible Hulk or brown paper boring.  Is that a problem?  Sometimes it can be for her, I suppose.  The song "Why" by Andrew Bird has a line that says "Damn you for being so easy going."  I'm sure she has this going through head pretty frequently.

Bottom line...what's the bottom line?  Is there something wrong with me?  Am I just a regular middle aged geeky guy?  Do I need medication or just counseling?  Do I really need anything other than a couple of beers and some geeky TV?

I guess I'll have a better idea in a few weeks.

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

A painful mistake...

I committed a cardinal sin of cooking this weekend.

While slicing potatoes on the mandolin slicer, I sliced both my thumb and my middle finger.  It is totally my fault.  I wasn't using the hand guard because I just couldn't find it.  Once I'd stopped the bleeding, thrown out the ruined potatoes and bandaged my finger, you can bet I dug around until I found the hand guard.

Now, I'm struggling to type with a wounded middle finger.  Great time to try to make a renewed effort to write more...

Ah, well...a week from now it won't hurt to type.  I hope.

Friday, August 23, 2019

New, dangerous discovery...

I've suddenly discovered that blogger/blogspot is accessible from my work computer.  Previously, it was a locked out site.

This could be very good or it could be very bad.

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Wow...is this still a thing?

I've been a baaaaad boy.

I kind of forgot that this existed until just now.  I won't make any promises like I've made in the past, but I really need to get back into writing here.

Someday, I really want to have a career as a writer.  Putting things here might help that somehow...or not, who knows?

So...how's life?

Life is about the same...still work the same job in the same company; still have the same wife and kids; still have the same struggles; still have the same successes.

Sure, there are new struggles and new successes, but they aren't anything that anyone else hasn't gone through in their lives.

Keep with me here and I swear I'll post more.  Ugh...there goes a promise...